Overcoming Emotional Attachment
So you’re feeling down, probably about somebody in particular, and what strikes you is the persistence your feelings have to staying on and on. There seems to be a mindset that clouds your vision to the possible, more brighter future, or perhaps just a more optimistic truth. But how can anyone possibly change how they feel? When you’re in love, and you’ve been heartbroken you can’t help how you feel, can you? When you’re depressed, and you’ve been undeniably depressed for a long period of time, you can’t help it…can you?
I really hate to burst everyone’s bubble on this one, but the fact of the matter is – you can help it. And while some people like to throw out the idea that you can actually choose how you feel at any particular given time, that you actually can in fact control your own emotions, the provable fact of the matter is that you do have the power.
Some psychologists like to point at the effect of facial expressions and the chemical results these facial expressions have on mood. For instance, did you know that when you smile, your brain often produces a very small amount of pleasure inducing endorphins? The result is that if you smile, you feel happy, and ironically that is not necessarily to say that you smile because you feel happy. So similar to this concept, there is a very powerful method for shifting your own emotions. While part of the idea in controlling your own behavior might be to alter your own associations of particular situations and events, this is something that has to be done on a case by case basis, and the results are sometimes very slow, and often can diminish easily over time.
You want to permanently change your thinking with a single mindset, a mindset that can permanently affect how you deal with each and every individual situation effectively, no matter what is thrown at you. Unexpectedly, the answer just might be as simple as ‘letting go.’
Think of the sensation you feel upon picking up an object and then releasing it. Imagine how the distribution of weight just slips away into nothingness to fall to the ground below. Similarly, if you could ‘let go’ of each and every moment instantaneously, the entire world might feel similar in nature to that of thin air; you run your hand through it and each and every time you do there is virtually no resistance.
The next time you’re feeling down about anything, perhaps that time is right now, try asking yourself a simple question: Is it possible to let this feeling go? I remember when I had first been introduced to this technique, the entire thing seemed ridiculous. How can you just let go of an emotion? How can you simply ‘let go’ of a thought? But perhaps one of the reasons that it initially had seemed so ridiculous to me is that I had never really considered it before, and since I had never considered it, I had never taken action with the whole idea. If you at first visualize the sensation of letting go of a sensation, a feeling, an emotion, the same way you might do with just a pencil, or a very lightweight object, the entire situation begins to come into perspective. After understanding how it feels, simply making the decision is all that is necessary.
This simple strategy is all that it takes to get over the old problems of disconnected or broken relationships, anger, depression, sadness, grief, sorrow, and so on and so forth. When we feel almost any negative emotion, we notice that, paired with it is a sensation of burden. Part of the reason for this, I believe, is that to carry with us for any extended period of time negativity is a burden within itself, an unnecessary and unnatural one that we often will carry on our shoulders, without even meaning to. Sometimes emotions can be stubborn in their wanting to leave, and if you have a feeling that no, this is too much, I can’t possibly just let this go, you might try asking a second question.
Is it possible that I could let go of just 2% of the total amount of this feeling?
2% is easily doable, right? And if you can do 2%, perhaps you could move onto 3%? 4, 5, 6? How about 10%?
And if one particular state maintains itself for a period of time and you have an excessive amount of trouble shaking it, some general rules as to how to deal with emotions in the most basic form might come into play. You should consider why you feel the particular way you do. Maybe this feeling has been evoked because something else has not yet been expressed. Yet, even with all of that in mind, why hang onto any part of it? Why hang onto any fragment, either the central part of the branches of that into your own consciousness, at all?
Can you let it go?
I would also recommend reading The Power Of Letting Go, by Patricia Carrington, or perhaps you might go to your local bookstore and pick up the already best-selling book that is very similar in nature with this very same technique, The Sedona Method
, by Hale Dwoskin and Jack Canfield.
This entry was posted by Scott Lee on December 22, 2006 at 12:11 AM, and is filed under Emotional Intelligence, Personal Development. Follow any responses to this post through RSS 2.0.You can leave a response or trackback from your own site.
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hey thanks for writing this! something i definitely needed to read…
i agree (having tried this on myself quite recently) it really is about gathering ur thoughts enough to change one small perspective
i guess the process is -
awareness that ur low> awareness of the amount of time you’ve spent feeling the same emotion> figuring out what you feel about the feeling> willingness to change> working on it
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I need help i think. Im 13 and my mom hates it when i dont sell old things ill never need. But it seems like behind each item is a memory, and i just cant give that up. Like my old couch it was broke and we were moving i wanted to keep it there was so much memories behind. Then my mom threw it away i cried 3 days straight. And i was watching glee the other day and it was season one were the club was going to end because they didnt win regonals. But anyways its wierd i felt there emotions and when they cried i cried because it was eneding but there 3 seasons i knew it wasnt over but i still cried. Im this in all kinds of tv series ill get attached to them and i feel there emotions and when the show ends for i cry for like the whole week until i get something else on my mind. But if i start thinking about it again i cry again. What exactly does these mean?
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#10 written by karen 1 month ago
Well perhaps this means that you really liked that show and the characters in it felt like your family.
Seems to me that when something I really like needs to go to another place other, I need to reach out and talk with someone and physically open up another door to another good feeling…otherwise I will be so sad for so long.
But I do, Chastity, keep the good feelings that I had with the situation or person or thing, in my heart, never to depart. Some say on the other side we only see and feel pure love. …and we only remember the good things about life…if that is even a little bit true, then it may be good motivation to remember the good, and keep going for new good memories too…living in the present in a pleasant way.
What do you think? -




perhaps a good question to ask yourself is…
“what’s in it for me, if I do let go of this feeling”
appreciating the benefits of letting go just put some
momentum on your side for change
Truthteller site
http://www.reddeerblog.com