When it comes to the question of how you manage a relationship, I am probably not the best guy to ask. The things that I can do involve getting into relationships, and then leave it to girls to end the relationships. Of course, somehow, over the course of all of it, it has been strangely easy for me to be seen as the bad guy. But there are certain things that, however must it might seem I am going against conventional rules, that you might give me good credit for. For one thing, I am still in a good relationship at this point, and it has been successful for almost a year now. Of course, if your goal would be to measure things by how long a couple has been together, you are entering dangerous territory, as I’ve had two other two year relationships that ended in disaster. But looking at it another way, relationships working in a realistic way are probably bound to be somewhat political in their nature.

It is very rare that I will personally enter a relationship that remains optimistic and fundamentally peachy, and when it does happen, it is bound to end shortly after it began with little explanation as to what might have gone wrong. As odd as it sounds, romantic relationships can be compared to science. In modern science, there are a lot of controversial issues going on. Cloning, genetic alteration and so on. We’ll take the issue of stem cell research, or even abortion. While it greatly aids economic stability to control the population, and proceed with abortions, or while it might greatly aid medical research to use stem cells, there are moral problems with the issues. Relationships need to be looked at in a similar way. General human compassion demands that you carry out your relationships either using the compassionate moral model, or the logical scientific model. And also similar to science, human emotion is always, always interfering somewhat, even when you’re trying to follow the fully logical model.

Whatever method of thinking you choose, either one can essentially work, but there are some warnings for both that people need to be aware of. First of all, let me also explain that right now, at this very moment, you are following one of these ways of thinking. Most of the time, people will be following a compassionate-moral model, because societally speaking, and in terms of common cultural tradition, this is often the approach that makes sense. The problem with following a way of thinking that is based mostly off of emotion, of course, lies in the nature of emotions. Emotions can often be unpredictable, or even out of control. You might also say that we follow our emotions in a way that resembles addiction, where we search for emotional experiences that will give us a natural high that is more and more intense than whatever previous experiences we’ve had. So emotions are dangerous.

But the positive end to emotions is that they bring about a huge deal of common ground, or empathy, so that we may perceive our fellow human beings better. The entire equation of Darwin’s natural selection has a distinct problem with it, and that is that while you are killing off weaker traits to make way for stronger ones, you may be killing traits that are more ideal than any others for future conditions, but are simply not useful right now. For example, they currently have a theory that neanderthals were not previous versions of humans, but were simply a different variation of a human species, one that resembles current homosapiens ten times more than chimpanzees. But the neanderthals died out, for some reason, and although it is unexplained, this might present a problem in the evolutionary future. The neanderthals had larger noses, a more protruded brow, and other characteristics that were slightly different from ours. Some believe that while they relied on their bodies, which were fine tuned for cold weather, homo sapiens relied on their minds.

The point being? I think perhaps the entire reason human beings care so much for things that are vulnerable, cute, cuddly, sad, or what have you, is part of an neurological mechanism that has come from evolution that urges us to protect possible traits that might be favorable in future conditions, but may be currently housed in what is considered currently to be the weak.

Do we focus more on logic, or do we focus more on the heart? The answer, in part and only in part, is that you must focus on what feels right most for you. Another major part of it is considering what the best decision is for your well being, and your health. Or maybe the focus should not be so much on whether you’re following logic or raw emotion, but rather simply what is best overall, in both fronts, but mostly, what is simply best for well being, simply what is best for health.

In falling through your own standards, or your own terms in a relationship for another person, you are sacrificing your potential happiness. Change, or at least, drastic change and a massive alteration of some particular characteristic that is central to your own personality should not ever have to be altered, in any way, in order for a relationship to work. In other words, do not compromise, and never give up on your dreams. Pursue your own happiness.

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