Question: How fast should I escalate in a relationship?

To see a full list of questions here on Scott Free Thinking along with their answers, see the Scott Free Thinking Questions Introduction & Index.

Today’s Question: How fast should I escalate in a relationship?

Answer: Typically, when people refer to “escalate” they refer to how fast they should be getting physical with another person. The answer is going to vary for every individual, but if romance is what you are looking for, then just about right away is the ideal; the sooner the better. The faster that you initiate action to indicate that you are interested in more than friendship, the less likely you are to get branded into that infamous “friends zone.” The friends zone is not a myth anymore than first impressions is a myth; whatever you do in the start of a relationship, even in that first meeting, is going to make a big difference. Now, I’m not saying you should jump into giving this person hugs and kisses all over the place, but consider that the following actions are usually considered flirtatious behavior:

• Play hitting/nudging of the arm or shoulder.
• Tickling each other.
• A frequent series of ‘accidental touches’ and bumps.
• Constantly standing just a little bit closer to each other than normal.

Having considered all of this, remember a few other important facts. If you receive any sort of negative feedback, verbally or physically, it is probably best to back off and then try again later, or, if you’ve been trying for a long time as it is, just back off completely. There’s no need to ruin any sort of intended fun when the other person is interpreting what you’re doing is direct harassment. On the other hand, it can also be important to note that you should not always let that fear stop you – if a person is receptive, make it a gradual process and continue to note their response. If the feedback is positive, continue escalation until that first kiss.

To sum it up: from the start, touch!