Scott Free Thinking

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Where to Begin and How to Start

As I have said in part 1, the important thing in starting any kind of seduction, is that you must not be shy. I’ve written about shyness in my article, Overcoming Shyness, and it’s something I suggest you take a look at if you are having trouble with being outgoing in general. Of course, outside of that, some guys just have a really hard time talking to women. I think women can have the same problem when talking to guys. If this is the case, the common piece of advice is to follow this exercise: Every day, get out and about and ask ten women the question, “Excuse me, I’m trying to think of something to get my little cousin for her birthday, do you have anything in mind?” or a similar question and strike up a little bit of a conversation with 10 women a day. It doesn’t matter who they are, where they are, and it probably isn’t going to matter what they’re doing either. If you do this exercise everyday for 10 days or more, you will get over your shyness with women fairly quickly.

The point of the exercise is to get you talking, and to get you paying attention to their responses. Some would even say it does not even matter what the question is you’re asking, and it is definitely true that it does not matter what answer it is they are giving you. The entire point is that it is breaking the barrier of silence, and expanding your ability to start speaking. For women who would want to try this sort of exercise with guys, I’m not sure if it would work the same way, but you can probably get the idea.

Then you’ll probably want to move on past that, and often times you are ready to do so fairly shortly after beginning it. If you have no problem talking to women, well then you shouldn’t have even bothered reading those first two paragraphs.

As I have also said, there are countless different resources on the topic of seduction. Some of them are good, some of them are not. One course I’ve heard about and seen here and there is one that has this central concept of “becoming the alpha male.” Let me explain here that if any seduction course out there is trying to sell you on a single concept - you’d be wasting your money to buy it. Seduction is a versatile art, and it takes many different techniques and a wide body of knowledge to master it(if that is your goal). One website that is fairly entertaining is FastSeduction.com, and its free guide. Startlingly effective, here’s an excerpt from it:

The “3 seconds rule” was coined by Mystery (more info at MysteryMethod.com), a PUA and regular poster on ASF. The point of the 3s rule is to propel you to approach women fast enough to keep your internal voice from talking you out of it and avoid hesitation. You do not want a woman to see you hesitate. The longer you hesitate, the more insecure and sappy you appear. Also, hesitation creates an added sense of nervousness to your mental state - a personality trait you do not want to portray when approaching women.

And I would say this is fairly spot on. Much of the time when you see either a girl you’re attracted to and would like to talk to, but you’ve never met, you may not be used to approaching her right away to start talking. This also applies to the girl that you’ve been interested in, but have not talked to much at all. The next time you see her or she enters the room, go straight for her! Do not stand around and wait for the opportune moment to present itself, the opportune moment is now.

You may also have noticed that there is certain lingo that goes with many of these websites out there on seduction. The first and foremost noticeable abbreviation is ‘PUA,’ which stands for Pick Up Artist. Now, PUA’s have been called a lot of things. They’ve been called creepy, talented, inconsiderate, loving, shallow, trained, scary, and the list goes on and on. For the most part, though, you will often find that the connotation that goes with being a PUA, at least in terms of women’s eyes, is usually negative. But being a Pick Up Artist, in and of itself, is not really the negative part that women are so bent out of shape about. The bad part comes with what kind of guys become PUA’s. The sad fact of the matter is that there ARE guys out there who do not have any interest in mind but their own gain. Also sadly, there are always going to be women who will allow men to deem that as part of the terms of a relationship. Not everyone is in it for the long haul, and not everyone is wanting something emotionally connected, or serious.

To be a PUA is to carry out a particular role or function. Whether or not you are a good person is independent of the fact or idea of being a PUA. The goal of most seduction teachers is often to aid others in improving the first stages of their relationships and to help them achieve their social goals, the purpose of seduction, again, is NOT to exploit others.

Back to shyness - shyness can be a difficult code to crack. Many people, and even scientists, are unsure as to why shyness even exists. For one thing, we do know that there is a certain part of the brain involved with inhibitions, and we know that chemically this system of neuronal connections and mental associations can be shut down temporarily or permanently through particular physical and chemical alterations. Alcohol is notorious and famous for producing the effect of loss of inhibition by depressing the nervous system. Now, should you get drunk or start drinking before you approach women? Definitely not. But sometimes, shyness is a rock solid obstacle, or can at least seem to be.

To tackle the various social insecurities you may have, here is what I would recommend you focus on during your development in beginning relationships:

• Always try to look your best in terms of visual appearance, but also remember that you need not obsess - it does not have to be perfect, and at times can even be anything but. Wear clothes that are universally attractive. For girls, this might solid colored v-neck shirts, for guys this might be collared polo’s.
• If you are shy or uncomfortable approaching girls to ask them out, make a goal to talk to 10 women that you don’t know in a single day and carry out that goal.
• Right from the start, do not approach anyone who is not absolutely everything you’re looking for in terms of their visual appearance.
• In combination with relationships of the opposite gender, get out a sheet of paper and write down 20 ways that you can improve all of your relationships, including your family and friendships. Then, carry out as many of those improvements as you possibly can with your existing relationships. By showing yourself that it is even possible to improve existing relationships, you are also proving that it is probable you can at least start relationships.

Continue to Principles of Seduction - Part 3 >>